I came across something today that made me want to smile sweetly. I opened the drawer of my nightstand and underneath several empty medicine bottles, my fingers ran across a torn book that I had forgotten that I had. It was worn and torn, but the pages inside were dear to my heart because written on those pages was the story of my life; my life as if it were a fairytale. Once upon a time…
August 8, 1994
Dear Diary,
At seventy-five years old, is it silly to write, “Dear Diary?” “Dear Journal” sounds just a bit boring to me. “Dear Diary” sounds exciting, intriguing; it makes me want to write.
To many, it may seem that I’m beginning the last and final years of life, but I’ve always said, “You’re only as old as you feel.” I feel young! I must admit that there are times that I physically feel seventy-five. I feel seventy-five today. I moved to a new home today, a nursing home. I have never dreamed that I would have to spend the later years of my file in a nursing home, but my doctor told me a month ago that I would never walk again. I had no other choice; I was not able to take care of myself.
August 9, 1994
Dear Diary,
I awoke this morning to the smell of steaming black coffee and the sound of a sweet voice, “Good Morning Ella,” she said. It was my new nurse rounding out her morning duties.
As I lay there in my cozy bed, the realization of the move to the nursing home became real to me. I felt the metal bars of my bed that closed me in my bed. My new home was Maplewood Nursing Home, room 219. The room was like a hotel room. A floral-paisley border ran across the box-shaped room. The remaining wall was painted simple beige that met the green-white tiled floor. The tiles were like that of a checker bored. The room was plain and simple, accented by a splash of floral color; it was my new home.
Dear Diary,
This “nursing home” thing may not be as bad as people say. Yesterday was my first full day here and I have to say that it was a real pleasant one.
I decided to just relax and get acquainted with the nurses. I’ve always believed that you should make “friends” rather than “enemies” with those taking care of you. However, it may be hard work to build bonds with all of the nurses here, especially the head nurse, Ms. Hatchet. She’s a rather large, rounded lady and the poor thing has a mole protruding right below her left nostril. She always has her glasses hanging from a chain; I swear the only time they’re on her eyes is when she’s playing her role as head nurse, which is very seldom. I ‘declare one would mistake her for a witch when she gets all wound up and starts a’shakin’ her finger at somebody.
I must say that I have concluded that the male nurses are more friendly than the female ones and a whole lot nicer to look at too!
Dear Diary,
Being new to a place keeps you busy! The past couple of days my time has been consumed with meeting my neighbors, exploring the premises, and believe it or not, working. I may have failed to mention, but to help pay for staying here, they have hired me in the kitchen as a cook. I won’t complain because I have always loved to cook. Since my father passed several years ago, I have not had anyone around to cook for; it will be nice to be able to use my secret recipes to cook for someone else.
My mother passed away with cancer when I was only 18. My father remarried but then he passed away with a heart attack. (If I had been married to that woman, I’d probably have had a heart attack too; it’d be the death of me). My evil-stepmother and her daughters wanted nothing to do with me after my father’s death. I have been alone for almost twenty years. It has just been me, myself, and I
Dear Diary,
The last three days have been quite interesting. I was cooking my secret “chicken casserole” when I overheard some of the other elders talking about a disturbance down the hall. Apparently, the lady in room 259 was refusing her afternoon medicine; she was furious with rage at the nurse. It took five other nurses and security to calm her down. I know it’s not nice to eavesdrop, but when I heard the name of the lady, I couldn’t believe it! Jaclyn Roosevelt was the lady whom was causing the disturbance. Jaclyn Roosevelt was my stepsister!
Dear Diary,
I can’t believe it! Jaclyn Roosevelt! What was she doing here and why was she here? These questions have been running through my mind ever since I heard her name in the kitchen. I haven’t heard from Jaclyn or her other sister, Madeline in years. I did receive a card about my evil-step mother’s death, but I have not been in contact with my sisters in years. For some reason, it doesn’t surprise me that it was Jaclyn that was causing such a disturbance!
August 16, 1994
Dear Diary,
When nurse Nance came in with my morning coffee and medicine, I asked her to sit with me and asked if I could ask her a few questions. Nurse Nance is one of my favorite nurses! She has been working at Maplewood for at least ten years. We talked all about Jaclyn. I asked her questions that I had, and she gave me as many answers as she could. Technically, nurses aren’t supposed to give out information about their patients but because I explained how I was their relative, she made an exception.
August 17, 1994
Dear Diary,
It has been quite the week here. After my talk with Nurse Nancy, I spent the rest of the day contemplating what all Nancy had told me. From what I had gathered, Jaclyn has been at Maplewood for almost six years suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. And apparently, Jaclyn’s roommate is her sister Madeline. Madeline is losing her hearing; she’s almost completely deaf.
Dear Diary,
I thought about going to visit my stepsisters today and then I thought again, I got halfway out the door and changed my mind. I wondered after all these years if they would even remember me. After working in the kitchen this morning, I decided to go sit outside and get some fresh air. I absolutely love this time of the year, it’s not as hot as July but it’s not cool either, just right. I rolled my wheel chair over to sit with some ladies down the hall. They were very friendly, especially Sue. She reminded me of my Aunt Hazel with the way that she carried herself. Even though her age shows with her gray thinning hair, she carries herself as if she was twenty years younger and wore her finest Sunday dress, instead of a housecoat. I hope to be spending more time with Sue; I like her.
Dear Diary,
I’m so excited that I had to write before going to bed! As I was visiting with Sue and the other ladies outside, I learned of one of the biggest events held at the nursing home: the Annual Canasta tournament!
Dear Diary,
This morning I decided to take a stroll down the hall after breakfast. I can only stand being in my bed for so long. I saw several of my new friends, even Sue. She was beaming with excitement because her daughter had brought her a present earlier this morning. She bought Sue a new rosy-red housecoat to wear to the Canasta tournament. The tournament was a week from today, and Sue said that we should get together and play a couple of games. I told her we would definitely do that. The tournament was the talk on the hall. As I was heading back down the hall, I heard a familiar voice call out my name. The voice came from room 259.
Dear Diary,
I just finished dinner, so I thought I’d write where I left off. I hit the brakes on my wheel chair when I heard my name called. I turned my wheel chair around and headed back toward room 259. Actually, I debated turning around, but I didn’t. I held my breath as I wheeled into the room, for it seemed to have a rare, not-so-pleasant smell, which was common in some of the elder’s rooms. In room 259, sat my two stepsisters Jaclyn and Madeline. I was surprised that they hadn’t changed much; still delightfully plump, but now with an abundance of gray hair and a few wrinkles. We were reacquainted, and we talked about the past couple of years. Jaclyn told the same story about when she moved to Maplewood, probably a 100 times, and I felt like I was constantly yelling at Madeline because she apparently didn’t have her hearing aid in her ear.
Then Jaclyn, ordered me, not asked me, but ordered me to get her some coffee. It was then that I realized that she hadn’t changed a bit. But unlike in the past, this time I told her to call the nurse and order her around. I left room 259.
Dear Diary,
I didn’t sleep well last night. I stayed up thinking about my visit with Jaclyn and Madeline. Why would they think that after all this time that they could still boss me around? The bad memories of the past kept replaying in my mind. Memories of cleaning all day long, and having to constantly hear, “Ella, do this, Ella, do that.” I hated those days, but I suppose I stayed and followed their orders because I didn’t want to leave my father.
Today, Sue and I are going to play some Canasta to get ready for the big tournament. Maybe this will help me not to think so much about the horrible past that I have lived.
Dear Diary,
I have never played so much Canasta in my life! Sue and I have been playing all day long except when I had to go work in the kitchen. There are only four more days until the tournament. I think I may get some rest today.
Dear Diary,
I decided that some fresh air would do me well, so I went for a stroll before dinner. Today was my day off, so there’s no telling what’s for dinner. Since I’ve been working in the kitchen, I’ve had friends tell me that they won’t eat unless they know that I had cooked that day!
I rolled in my chair down the hall, greeting those who were out and about. It amazes me how some of the elders will sit in the hall and fall asleep! How do they sleep when there’s so much commotion in the hallways? I wasn’t far down the hall when I heard my name called in the most awful pitch, “Ella!” It was none other than Jaclyn. I wheeled myself towards room 259. (The nurses often compliment me on how well I get around in my wheel chair.) Jaclyn was looking at the news on the television and Madeline was snoring loudly when I wheeled in to the room. Jaclyn and I made small talk and then she asked if I would be playing in the Canasta tournament. I told her yes, that I had been practicing my skills all week. She then grinned her evil grin, the one that showed her missing teeth. She continued to inform me that it was the event of the year, which I already knew. She said that everyone would dress up in their nicest robes and housecoats and that unless I had a new one, that I should just forget about going to the tournament. She pointed out that the purpose of going was to look the best of the best! Jaclyn knew that I couldn’t afford a new housecoat, and if she was trying to get under my skin, it was working (she was always good at getting under my skin). God knows with her disease, she’d end up forgetting about the tournament! Even with her disease she hasn’t forgotten how she used to treat me and still does! As I turned to leave, she ordered me to go and get a nurse because she needed help getting up to use the bathroom; the days of her ordering me around were over, I suppose she wet herself…
Dear Diary,
The tournament was in three days and the excitement that had built up inside of me was gone! There was no way I could go without something new to wear. So, I decided that I would just stay in my room; maybe there would be something good on TV. Well, I’ve got to head down to the kitchen for work, it’s steak night and I am fixin’ my chocolate pie for dessert.
Dear Diary,
You could feel the excitement about the tournament even in the dinning room tonight. Sue wouldn’t stop talking about it. Her daughter is even coming to the home to do her hair and makeup. I broke the news to Sue that I wouldn’t be coming to the tournament. I couldn’t tell her that I didn’t have anything to wear, so I told her that I had to do something. I don’t know what I’ll be doing, but it won’t be going to the tournament….Oh, how I wish I was going!
August 25, 1994
Dear Diary,
The past few days, I have become a hermit. I’d rather stay in my room than to be surrounded by all of the excitement of the tournament. Have you ever felt like you were on the outside looking in? Felt alone? I haven’t felt this was in a very long time. In fact, I haven’t felt this way since living with my awful stepmother. It’s as if those days have come back to haunt me. I feel so alone.
Dear Diary,
I’m so glad I have you to talk to. Sue came by to show me how pretty she looked; she even had bedroom slippers to match her outfit! I’ve been in my room most all day long, haven’t felt like doing much. Everyone is getting ready for tonight's event, everyone but me. Oh! How I wish I may…how I wish I might….just one wish tonight….
Dear Diary,
Do dreams really come true? Yes, they do!
Last night, my dreams came true! As I was finishing writing down in this diary, a cloud of smoke suddenly appeared in my room. I thought for sure I was dreaming, but then a nurse appeared. She wasn’t just any nurse; she was beautiful with sparkles all around her. I couldn’t believe my eyes! She said her name was Nurse Natalie. She was my fairy nurse and had come to take care of me; all of my wishes were about to come true. With a snap of a finger, the most elegant, satin, robe lay upon my bed. It was sky-blue with a cotton-white collar that was trimmed with lace. I put on the robe and held my breath; it was stunning. Then, with two snaps of her fingers, I was wearing satin bedroom slippers that matched the robe. They had the prettiest flowers on them that were outlined in pearls. And finally with a third snap, I was wearing a pearl necklace and earrings to match! It was perfect!
Writing all of this down makes me smile but has worn me out. I think I’ll rest my eyes for a while.
Dear Diary,
Where was I? Oh, so there I was, with Nurse Natalie. I couldn’t believe I was going to be playing in the Canasta tournament! I thanked Natalie and as I was about to be on my way down the hall, she stopped me. Her only request for me was to be back in my room when the hall clock struck ten o’clock, for I would need to be back in my room to take my medicine before bed. I promised that I would be back by ten o’clock. The nursing home’s curfew for the elders was at eleven o’clock, so things would be winding down by then. I thanked her, and wheeled my way down the hall to the tournament.
Dear Diary,
A good writer always leaves the reader in suspense. I couldn’t write it all down in one diary entry!
I had a splendid time at the Canasta tournament! I had so many compliments that I couldn’t count them on my fingers. Sue couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw me. We partnered up and began playing. We won some and lost some. The whole time that I was there, I never saw Jaclyn or Madeline. Someone had said that Jaclyn had forgotten about it and hadn’t ordered a new robe in time for the tournament and Madeline probably didn’t even know it was going on; she seems to live in her own little world due to her hearing disability.
I didn’t think the night could have gotten any better until Sue introduced me to her friend, Dan. He too, was in a wheelchair but was quite handsome to be seventy-two years old. Dan and I spent the rest of the night together talking and laughing. Come to find out, Dan had never been married either. Who says you can’t find love in a nursing home? It was fate! Or was it?
I was having such a pleasant time with Dan, that when the clock struck ten, I almost forgot my promise to Nurse Natalie. When I realized what time it was, I told Dan good night and hurriedly wheeled down the hall to my room. When I had gotten to my room, I realized that I had lost my satin slipper!
Dear Diary,
That night, I took my medicine and went to sleep, sweetly dreaming of my time with Dan.
It’s three days later and I still have not seen my slipper or Dan. Hold on……there’s a knock on my door.
August 30, 1994
Dear Diary,
Do you believe in love at first sight? I do!
It was Dan knocking on my door. He said he had looked all over the nursing home for me, that I had dropped my slipper as I hurried off the other night, and he had picked it up for me. He also said that he had met a nurse named, Natalie, who was determined to show him my room. I smiled sweetly. He had the slipper that I had lost in his hand, and he slipped it on my foot. Needless to say, we spent the rest of the day together, picking up where we left off the other night.
And we lived happily ever after.