Growing up I have always wondered
What would the world be like
If I didn’t exist?
How would the lives
Of all of the people I’ve met be different?
It has always been
One of those hypothetical questions
Until now.
For the past six months
I have been removed.
I have vanished
From my family,
My friends,
My life.
My physical presence has been replaced
By a voice over a telephone
And some words on a computer screen.
To them I still exist,
But they have learned to go on without me,
And I without them.
It is scary to realize
How easy it is
To go from being in a symbiotic relationship
To hardly a relationship at all.
My time in exile is almost up.
I will soon return to the world
That I have learned to go without,
And try to slip back into the mold
That I left behind.
I feel that is impossible
For I am not the same man I was when I left.
Sure, I may look the same,
But in every other way, I am different.
Even if I wanted to return
The same way I left,
That would be even tougher of a task.
Because the life I left a half a year ago
Calls for a different person now.
I cannot resume where I left off,
Or I will be six months behind.
So I must move quickly
To catch up on what I have missed.
A lot has happened at home,
Things that I will hear about
But never truly understand.
Sad?  In a way.
However, I have my own six months
Worth of stories to tell
And pictures to show.
Things that they will hear about
But never truly understand.
Six months may have seemed like a long time,
But it was just long enough
For me to find myself
And discover who I really am.